The Comparison Trap: Unhealthy Habits of Social Media

I have been known to engage in a little digital detoxing every now and again; specifically during the times when it appeared as if I were being sucked into a dark hole caused by mindlessly scrolling through social media. This is what I also refer to as the “social sunken place”- minutes and maybe hours could elapse before you look up to realize just how long you have been mentally disengaged from real life.

Social media has many benefits, one precisely being a place to effectively build your brand, but it is also a place to share all a sneak peek of your life with friends, family and others. While this may seem harmless, I believe the instant gratification and constant connection to social media can develop a negative impact on mental health. The primary concern I have relevant to this topic is the behavior of comparing oneself to what is being seen on social media feeds.

As we scroll through our feeds, it can be easy at times to evoke judgement on how we may measure up to others; determining that we’re either better or worse off than what we see. Regardless of the chosen perspective, this behavior is not healthy for our mental well-being. Then, on the contrary, we fail to consider that what we’re measuring isn’t really the other person’s reality. People will always show you the “good” because that’s what’s picture worthy, right? We aren’t going to post our ugly transparencies of life for everyone else to see.

Also, there is FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), which inadvertently can create an unhealthy lifestyle as this supports an irrational belief that everyone else’s social life is superior to your own. The caveat with FOMO is that it can be innocent. For instance, if your friends have planned an outing and you were unable to attend, naturally when seeing a photo of their fun, you would feel like you were missing out on a great memorable time. However, when you see the photos of others and you begin to start sizing up your social life to theirs, then you have entered unhealthy territory.

The dangers of not being mindful of our social media usage are many. I have been guilty of measuring my level of success in life to others. This occurred a few years ago when I first became unhappy on my last job and wanted nothing more than just to begin a new career. I viewed the success of others and wondered “where did I go wrong; what was the point of possessing three degrees, all to still be dissatisfied and unfulfilled professionally?” Thinking in this manner was doing nothing, but feeding my insecurities.

Whether it is admitted or not, I believe to some degree, we have all compared our “inside lives” to the “outside lives” of others. It may not be an intentional or a conscious act, but the important aspect is being aware when it occurs. From that point, it is vital to put an end to engaging in such behaviors, and recognize that life is just too unique to be fairly compared.

So, if you find yourself getting caught up in the comparison trap, I encourage you to take a break from social media and redirect that same energy inward. Focus on yourself and also be careful about the words you speak to yourself. We all have our own journeys; we have been created uniquely, specifically and wonderfully by God and that simply cannot be compared to anything or anyone we see in the virtual world.