You Don't Have to Be Strong All the Time
Life has a way of presenting unfavorable circumstances and although I am a strong believer that every situation we encounter serves a greater purpose, it doesn’t necessarily mean we welcome it with open arms. Nevertheless, everyone handles everything differently. I personally have grown to become an individual that takes their licking and keep on ticking, but too much of that can come with a hefty price. I pride myself on being strong, simply because I have not always been this way.
In the hardest of times, I have become accustomed to pushing my way through without taking a beat; however, I have recognized that constant push was me not permitting myself to be human. With each blow that life may have thrown, if I felt an ounce of sadness, if a tear welled up in my eye or if I felt the desire to just be alone, I would nail myself to the cross in utter disappointment that I even allowed myself to experience anything outside of strength.
I use the phrase “nail myself to the cross” in a non-offense way of course, but I make mention of such as those close to me would sometimes have to tell me to “take myself down off the cross.” These would be in the times in which I would be beating myself up for not upholding my ability to be strong. And even in those moments I would be fighting back tears because all I knew was that I could not allow myself break! This logic and reasoning is not realistic nor healthy. Thankfully, I am at a place where I now give myself permission to feel; where it is truly understood that it is ok not to be ok.
Earlier I mentioned how continuously pushing through the face of adversity, calamity, hardships trials and tribulations (however you want to coin it; it’s all life) comes with a hefty price, well it definitely does. When you move through life’s storms withstanding everything that comes your way and taking every hit as it lands, there naturally may come a point where the smallest thing will seemingly knock the wind out of you. That is how I learned. I categorize that as learning the hard way. I got to a point where I could no longer be strong; where I became tired of being strong.
Once I moved beyond being compelled to be strong 24/7, I began to give myself permission to just feel. If I wanted to break down and cry, I did. If I wanted to be frustrated with whatever was going on, I did. If I wanted to talk to God about how mad or upset I was, I did. I had arrived to a place where I did those things because I needed to and truthfully, I had to. We are not built to carry everything on our shoulders. As humans, we need to exercise our God given right to feel our way through for the purpose of healing and developing a greater strength; to rebuild any part of you that may be broken.
One of the biggest things I had to acquire was the ability to learn how to accept myself in my moments of weakness; to love all of me in those low moments because the reality was, I had grown into a position that anything outside of exuding strength was no longer a part of my identity. Well, at least that is what I had been telling myself for years. Again, not the best remedy, but when we know better, we do better!
I share all of this in hopes to encourage those full of undeniable strength, to give yourself permission to let it all go and just feel. Also, I would be remiss not to mention the importance of checking on your strong friends. I am sure we have all heard the statement at one point or another, and it should not be overlooked or neglected. Never underestimate how much one can actually bear. Just keep that in mind!
My last and final but yet vital point, as a woman of faith, through all my internal “strength versus weakness” battles, I had to remind myself that God tells us how His grace is sufficient for us and His strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). That one scripture is filled with so much truth as it further illustrates my simple point that, we do not have to be strong all the time!